oh well, it's time to leave... again. said goodbye to some I love, the ones I didn't now I'd have done it, if I could. hate to say goodbye anyway, think it's a common feeling among all of us. even when it's good to leave.
~
I painted my room while I was here, white makes me feel bored, and the things I wrote on the walls as a teenager were coming up, through the red... bastard! why do things make so much sense? it scares me a lot, "of course it does". "but i'm a creep, I'm a weirdo, what the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here" it said. after 3 coats of red paint I couldn't see it anymore... but I know it's still there. there or here it's the same. don't think the wall is the one to blame.
doesn't make me sad though.
~
I'll be up in the sky in five hours. I wish I had to power to disconnect my mind and skip this day and the next thing I would see would be Edinburgh, the grey city with tall buildings. hate flying, hate airports and hate staying in beetween. I feel it's nowhere. and I hate it.
~
mom and dad, I love you both. sorry for isolating myself and sorry for not showing how much I love you, and when I do, think that what I feel it's 10 times stronger than that. you know I won't come back, coz just now I feel life's too short already. my eyes are gonna kill me but I won't close them ever. I'm proud of being your daughter, proud of the people you are, proud of what you see and what you feel... and sorry if you're not proud of me. hope you understand I'm not gonna stop from now on, this thing is buzzing inside me. thank you for being my parents.
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...and i hope to see you again...
hiding under the anonymous duvet? hummm... interesting. will you tell me that it was you who wrote this if I'll see you again? or are u too shy to tell me that you missed me?
it's not fair honey...
tenho a certeza que eles também têm todo o orgulho do mundo por ti!!! e espero que não "fujas"... espero que conquistes o teu mundo e que fervilhes de ideias e que as faças grandes... tal como eu as vejo...não te feches... não te isoles... tem orgulho em ti!!:)
Adoro-te!!
Incrivel o k nós escrevemos kndo somos supostamente ingenuos, burros, inexperientes, infantis, inconscientes, mas kndo relemos verificamos a nossa evolução e ainda somos capazes de dar-nos lições a nós proprios. Espero k consigas msm satizfazer os teus pais, apesar de eles gostarem imenso de ti. Sei k escolheste um caminho, longo e novo ... e sabes muito bem k poderás vir a ter sucesso. Não tenho saudades tuas, nem me arrependo de te ter conhecido. Sei k vais ser um presente nas minhas referencias e é impossivel esquecer-te.
Boa sorte. A sociedade do norte já nada me diz ...
bj*
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